I know that no matter how I try to concentrate and study, my mind isn’t where it is supposed to be. It drifts off, unlike how I wished it would listen to me. I suppose I knew this would happen, but I thought I was stronger. Or maybe I underestimated how much you meant to me. It doesn’t hurt with a stinging pain, but it throbs with a dull but ever so present and (vaguely) annoying ache. It tells me you’re still in my thoughts no matter how much I try and kick you out by doing everything else. I guess one good thing is that my week’s freaking busy. It sucks too because if I’m really good at one thing, it’s zoning out. And this time it proves achingly terrible.
Let’s think about the good things shall we, I suppose the first thing was that the fall was amazing. Just like how things in fall become all shades of colour and the world’s saturation takes on sharp increase, so was it for me in the fall. My world turned from a vague dull but average shade of everyday life to vibrant, rainbow. Everything seemed to come alive, it was amazing, I was smiling, freely, everything was just so exhilarating. That was probably just the feels. Then was the best part, the places and everything.
Then now I walk around and then I see the places we went. And the tinge in my heart pulls hard and my heartstrings still feel played to the music that rings in my head (and maybe my heart).
I still feel like I miss you, and not that I miss the memory of you.