The horrors of week 9, and 10…and 11 passed and I learnt that I was more, so much more than I ever knew I could be. I thank God first of all for everything, for seeing me through 7-8 events and 4-5 essay and assignment deadlines.
I called it hell week but somehow there were so many things that proved to me throughout the week that it was anything but hell week. I can’t believe the speed in which things happened. There was EPM, NUS Open House, Apologetics IFR, Scribe Finals, Wonderous Measure TS Production, ODAC’s Archery Tag, THDP. There were other deadlines, small ones, large ones, until I gave up writing them in my calendar because the list alone terrified me.
But through all these, I didn’t just barely survive and cling on for dear life, in fact I enjoyed every single one of them despite the severe lack of sleep – I was managing 3 hours of sleep per night. Oh yes there was champions league as well so I was literally nursing a terribly messed up body clock to add on to the hectic schedule. Through all these, I can say, God helped me. I can’t believe I managed to clear deadlines, survive the flurry of readings, assignments, stay on top of event planning and even have time to go out once or twice.
To be honest one of the most surprising things for me was that God used weeks like this to show me how great He is and just how much He would help me despite me being so unforgiving and punishing to my body and especially neglecting time for Him. I’m completely touched and in awe at His love and mercies.
I learnt not just how to trust God, but slowly, how to also let go of my harshness to myself. As someone who values high speed, high intensity performances, I cannot let go of my standards and when I get tired I view it as weakness. But I think I learnt to allow myself to rest and to relax when I needed to. Which is amazing. hahaha
Next semester I don’t expect anything less, less breadth but more depth in positions and responsibilities. I expect myself to be in tip-top shape but I also know that I’ll need people I can rely and count on and I trust God will give them to me, as I trust Him wholeheartedly. I also know that I must learn to listen to people around me, my dearest friends and when they tell me to rest I guess I’ll take their word. At least this sem I’ve learnt that there are NO BOUNDARIES ( *cues Adam Lambert song*) but yes there really aren’t. If you put your mind and heart, if you love God and people and trust fully and throw yourself out there, never once being selfish and just giving your best, the rewards are beautiful, bountiful and endless. I learnt that love is never selfish, sometimes you put your interests, a lot of times, you put yourself down for others and for me, as someone who loves deeply and wholeheartedly, it gives me great joy and satisfaction when I see I can care for people and love them so much.
I’m eternally grateful as I always say, and my God, my Jesus is the One who gives me strength and will keep giving me strength. (: