Conquering a fear 

 Today, I wanna say that I conquered a fear. Well maybe not conquered per se but I learnt to deal with it. The process was terrifying, beginning with the pre-process. I realized what I signed up for when last Sem, I went for trials for a competition and naive me thought it’ll be just trials for y’know, learning and playing. Same thing happened this year. Partly I was dumb but I thought I would really be able to pick up the sport. What happened last year was, I was lost, and I got more lost as more drills were thrown, I tried to ask for an explanation and in the end I became the one who broke the flow of the game, every time. I was embarrassed and scared to try again. They say, once bitten twice shy, I was bitten but clearly I decided to try again. So I signed up for touch rug trials. An hour before the trials I realized with a shudder that what happened the last time could and possibly would happen again, so I panicked and in panicking I lost all composure and confidence. I began contemplating on giving a cheap excuse to get out, fearful that history would repeat itself. So I reached the venue early and just waited. Small talk with other random people waiting for trial took place but it didn’t change the fact I was scared. We did warm ups and my fear got the better of me, my hands became actually clammy. For someone who actually likes sports and am decently agile, this was new. The first drill came, okay, I thought to myself, it’s hard but not too challenging to the point of being not doable. Then the second one came and I was like waaaaaait and I eventually didn’t even want to try because I’d be the only one messing up while others seemed to play seamlessly with perfect throws and passes. Then came a drill where we had to break into groups and by then I’d sorta made friends with 2-3 others and I actually asked them to teach me, slowly. And they did, they were insanely patient despite my slowness at getting it. The captain actually called me to the side and taught me simply how to do certain moves and she also got me along with her to do certain drills. I think at that point my fear slowly ebbed away and became replaced with some form of vague confidence. That really helped, I became a little more fluid with passes and I actually had some momentum and best of all, I didn’t feel so crappy. I mean it took all I had to not walk out because I was terrified and now at the end, I’d say it was worth it. I prolly will never get to play for the team but the experience was good…and I learnt a new sport! 

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