a really bad day

On this day my body was confused. Why were so many things happening at one go and all in ridiculously quick, rapid fire speed. It was half awake half lost and mostly barely keeping up. To top it all off the great red beast reared its ugly head, on one of its countless monthly appearances and bodily wreckage began. My mind was too fast for my body. It could barely keep up. I was drained in every way but troubled about things in school, at home, in church… 

On this day, too many things happened, and me being me, I took everything into my hands. It sort of worked out and sort of didn’t too. I’m really bad at this teamwork thing I could use a little improvement. 

I nearly went mad but through the day I felt sustained. As I talked to people at different booths I felt the battery get charged and by the time AGM rolled around my heart was warmed and my whole system just felt a lot lot better, ironically and contrary to my belief. 

Sometimes abovementioned happens, especially when I’m on a sleepless night. 

My goals stared me in the face; why are you so weak why can’t you keep up? Didn’t you keep up last semester? And the semester before that?? What’s wrong with you. I don’t know either. 

I’m gonna give some acclimatization time I guess but I know I will get stronger. But I must also get wiser and maybe one day I’ll be able to find that balance between strong and wise. But for all this, I’m still thankful. There have been countless lessons taught to me and I am still learning. 

Semester 3/Year2S1 has just started and it has been nothing short of brilliant. For all my body can’t stand, people have been there, God used them to keep me sane, tell me things, help me grow. He loves and is so greatly merciful and kind. In my weaknesses He taught me how to be kind on myself and on others. 

I started to learn what a community is. The building blocks of it has started to be understood in my mind. Even as I see others and their examples, I feel inclined to come and pattern my life from them. In church, in school, God is teaching me through life, providence and experience how to be less like myself and more like my Saviour. I’m immature in many ways and have a lot to learn, especially how to channel my love and heart to where is needed and not overspend myself unwisely. 

It was a bad day, not a bad week, definitely not a bad life. 


2 thoughts on “a really bad day

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